Puns Ville

Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean? At a whale-weigh station! What is a whale’s favourite story? The Humpback of Notre Dame What is an orca’s favourite TV show?  Whale of fortune! What do you call a 100 year old whale?  A hunchback whale. What do whales like to chew? Blubber gum! What kind of whale flies?  A pilot whale! Why are they called sperm whales? Because seamen discovered them. Why was the whale so sad?  Because she was a Blue whale. Have you ever seen a fish cry?  No, but I have seen a whale blubber. What do you call a pod of musical whales?  An Orcastra. How does a group of whales make a decision?  Flipper coin! What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?  Licence to Krill Where does a killer whale go for braces?  The orca-dontist What do whales eat? Fish and ships. What do whales like to chew? Blubber gum! Where are whales weighed? At a whale weigh station How do you circumsize a wha...

Why are frogs so happy? They eat watever bugs them! What do you call a woman with a frog on her head? Lilly. Whats a frogs favorite game? It’s croak-et! What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth! What’s the difference between a cat and a frog? A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night! What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig? A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio. How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs? They sit eggsaminations! Why are frogs so good at basketball? Because they always make jump shots. How do frogs die? They kermit suicide! What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says ribbit ribbit, and thie other one says rub-it rub-it! What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad! What do you call a talking frog? A quantum leap. What’s a frogs favorite flower? A croakus! What do you call a frog hanging from a ceiling? Mistletoad. How do you make frog legs? In a...

Where do women dolphins keep their money? In their octopurse. How does a pod of dolphins make a decision? They Flipper coin. What do dolphin use for money? Sand dollars! Where do women dolphins keep their money? In their octopurse. How does a pod of dolphins make a decision? They Flipper coin. What do dolphin use for money? Sand dollars! How does a group of dolphin’s make a decision? Flipper coin! Why did the dolphin feel crabby?  Because he ate too many crabs! Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise! What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show ? Whale of fortune ! How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ? He prawned everything ! How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ? He prawned everything ! Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?  Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish! What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers! Where do dolphi...

Funniest horse puns and jokes A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: “What, George?” A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?” A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.” A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.” Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV...

 The funniest zoo puns collection by Puns Ville A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. “Look in the lion’s mouth,” the vet told him. “How do I do that?” he asked. “Carefully,” replied the vet. Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out. I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in? I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him? Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, “Drac, we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?” “Yes,” replied Dracula, “have lots of giraffes.” Come on, Fred, I ll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me! Zoo visitor: What’s the new baby hippo’s name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don’t know, he won’t tell me. You don’t see many reindeer in zoos, do you? No. They can’t afford the admission. Zoo Keeper:”I’ve lost one of my elephants” Other Zoo Keeper:”Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?” Zoo Keeper:”Don’t be silly, he can’t read...

Funny pig puns collection Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine ! What do you call a pig with three eyes? …A piiig Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop? He called it “Ham Hocks”. Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air balloon business? He couldn’t get it off the ground. . Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for mother’s day? What did they do? They threw a sowprize party. Did you hear about the pig’s vacation? They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans. Did you hear about the pigs who took up motorcycling? They wanted to catch bugs with their teeth. What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar. How do pigs write top secret messages? With invisible oink! What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork What is a pig’s favorite color? Mahogany! What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig? A life...

 From animals puns we bring for you this funny collection of panda puns What goes black, white, black, white, black, white? A panda rolling down a hill. What’s black and white and red all over? A sunburnt panda. Why do pandas have fur coats? Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets. Why do pandas like old movies? Because they’re in black and white. What do chinese bears eat for breakfast? Panda-cakes! What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite expendable organ? The panda-creas! Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo? It was Panda-monium. What do Chinese bears wear around their face when they’re robbing banks? Pandana! How did the panda lose his dinner? He was “Bamboozled”! Why did the panda date a Victoria Secret model? She had really big bamboobs. What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat? This is un- BEAR-able What’s black and white and as hard as a rock? A panda that’s fallen in cement. What’s black and white and goes ro...

Funniest egg puns collection on the Internet. Where’s the best place to get information about eggs? The hen-cyclopedia. How many French eggs do you need? One egg is un oeuf. What did the egg say to the clown? You crack me up. Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? Because it wanted to lay it on the line. What’s a hen’s favorite shipping company? Federal Egg-spress. Who tells the best egg jokes? Comedi-hens. What does a meditating egg say? Ohmmmmmmmlet. A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head. The bartender asks, ” Why have you got a fried egg on your head?” The man replies, “Because boiled eggs fall off.” How does a hen leave it’s house? Through the eggs-it. What do you call someone who eats too many eggs? An egg-oholic. Knock, knock Who’s there? Omelette. Omelette who? Omelette smarter than I look! What happens if you mix up a computer manual with a cookbook? You get an egg-shell spreadsheet! What does an egg do when he see...

Within animal puns , we provide you the funniest bundle of fish puns What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!” Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon! What do you call a fish with a tie? soFISHticated What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark! How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut! Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships. What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales. What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish. Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her? To fish for compliments. What did the blind man say when he passed the fish ma...

From animal puns, we bring for you this funniest bundle of cow puns How does a cow get to the mooooon? It flies through udder space! What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder! What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock. What is a cows favorite colour? Maroooooooon. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow? Peanut butter. What do u call a really strong cow? Beefy. What do you get when you walk under a cow? A pat on the head. How does lady gaga like her steak? Raw raw raw raw raw. Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it didnt want Lady Gaga to make a meat dress out of him. What are a cows favorite subjects in school? Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers! What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder-C...

In our animal puns section, bear puns are considered as the funniest ones. How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole? With your BEAR hands. Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo Why do polar bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place! What do you call a bears without ears? B’s What is a bear’s favorite drink? Koka-Koala! What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul. Why don’t bears like fast food? Because they can’t catch it! Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum. What does pooh eat at parties? blue bear-y pie. What do polar bears have for lunch? Ice burger! Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice! What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose? I don’t know but I sure wouldn’t try to sniff it. What animal hibernates while standing on its he...

Catitude is everything, check the following cat puns , they are the very ones you need. Hopefully, you find them meow-nificent. And don’t forget, do you have some cat puns ? Paw-lease add them in the claw-ments section below this post. Cat Puns Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap. Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all. Dogs will come when you call them. And they’ll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they’re in pain. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door. Did you hea...