Puns Ville

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses. Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows? Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway. An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?” Why is it that programmers always c...

A great bundle of Internet puns ; enjoy! You despise Microsoft FrontPage as a web editing tool and as extensions to your webserver. You can answer the question ‘is the internet broken’ without laughing. You can spot the theme behind the following list: RedHat, SuSE, Debian, Caldera, Slackware. You can feel the load a server is under without actually checking statistics. It ‘just isn’t running right’ actually makes sense. You maintain more than four websites and do not have time for a personal web page. You know all of the following people by reputation and can explain what they’ve done that is relevant to your world: Steve Case, Linus Torvalds, Eric Allman, Sanford Wallace. You know what TCP/IP stands for, not to mention DNS, HTTP, SNMP, BGP, OSPF, and DUN. You like acronyms. I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it “Bang”. I mean, think about it.. “I BANGED Emma Watson last night.” The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and ...