Meat Puns

If puns were meats, this one would be the wurst

A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto

learns to forgive.

I’m bacon you…please! No more meat puns!

OP’s puns meat our expectations today. Not the usual low quality spam.

Which of the following doesn’t belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? The blowjob.

You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can’t beat a blowjob.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t` eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

How many meat eaters does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat? Someone who lost their veg-inity!

Meat-eater: Did you hear about the new study saying vegans are more likely to go blind? I guess it’s because you don’t get the proper nutrition.

Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.

Are you going to the BBQ (What BBQ?) My meat in your grill

Do you like BBQs, cause I’m gunna slap my meat across your grill Do you have any raisins? (no…) How about a date?

Baby Your The Meat And In The Meat Tenderiser, Your About To Get Pounded.

Vegan: Nah, it’s just from reading all of those tiny ingredients lists.

What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy? We have to stop meating like this.

A vegetarian, a meat-eater, and a cannibal walk into a bar, the veg’ orders a salad, the other orders a burger, than the

bartender asks the cannibal “anything for you?”, so he replies, “no thanks, i’ll wait till they’re done

I’ll pound your meat any way you want me to.

If animals aren’t supposed to be eaten, then why are they made out of meat

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef

What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef

Do you like meat? Cause you’ll be eating some tonight.

Do like meat and ass? Can i stick my meat in ur ass

What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef

What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef

What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak

Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain? He’s got no beef.

What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note? Beef-flat

Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry

What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody’s herd.

Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.

How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.

What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat? Someone who lost his/her veg-inity!

 

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