Yoga Puns

Do you wanna join me for a yoga class? Namaste here. (No I must stay here).

What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.

Why didn’t the yogi vacuum in the corner? Because he has no attachments.

What does a dyslexic cow say? Ommmmmmmmmm.

What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio? Inquire Within.

What was the woman angry after her yoga class? She was bent out of shape.

What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? Decom-pose.

What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose.

Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini? It’s called “Yoga mail”.

What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman? Too many attachments.

What kind of animal does yoga? A Shangri-llama.

What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? Over-ex-posers.

Where do fish go to do yoga? The river bend.

What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog? I’m not a poser you are.

What did the yogi say to his dog? Nama, stay.

My yoga pants have never been to yoga.

What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for his birthday? I wish no gifts, only presence.

What did the Yogi say to the criminal? You have the right to remain silent!

Why didn’t the yogi buy the vacuum cleaner? It came with too many attachments!

What did the yogi tell his restless student? Don’t just do something – Sit there!

What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything!

How did the yoga teacher accidentally kill his pet? His karma ran over his dogma.

What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say? Inquire within!

Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed? He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

My “snooze” button should just be called the “nope, no yoga today” button.

Using the toilet on the airplane means I’m certified to teach yoga now.

I remember when yoga was called Twister.

My favourite yoga position is sleeping.

I didn’t realise how good I was at yoga but I do the sleep position all the time.

I didn’t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.

I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.

Yoga? No thank you. I’ll download an app to my phone so I don’t have to stretch for the remote.

Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, ‘next we go into our downward dog,’ it is frowned upon to make the ‘bowchickabowow’ sound.

Fitness level: Just used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer.

 

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