Poop Puns

What do you call Clark Kent with diarrhea? Poop-erman.

Don’t call me a party animal then get upset that I pooped on your carpet.

Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet.

Do you want to hear a poop joke? Never mind it’s too corny.

Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early.

Clean Poop: You poop, it’s in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper.

I was going to tell you a poop joke but it’s really crappy.

Second Wave Poop: You’re done pooping and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you’re not done.

Brain Haemorrhage Poop: (Also known as “Pop a vein in your forehead” poop) The kind where you

Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It never came out.

strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn’t budget.

Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling.

Have you seen that new movie Constipated? It’s not come out yet. And have you seen the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early.

Log Poop: The kind of shit that is so huge that you’re afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement.

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.

Wet Cheeks Poop: (The power dump) Comes out of your butt so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes.

“Gee I wish I could poop” Poop: The kind of poop where you want to poop, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.

When does Denzel Washington have hang out with Rugrats? Potty Training Day.

Spinal Tap Poop: That’s the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

What did the poop say to the fart? You blow me away.

Upper Class Poop: This poop doesn’t smell.

When does Denzel Washington have hang out with Rugrats? Potty Training Day.

The Dangling Poop: This poop refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there.

I’m in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don’t poop.

“Get your poop in a group” is a childish way of saying “get your shit together” but I prefer my take of “gather the pieces of your feces”

Her: that’s disgusting.. Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes.. Her: you shouldn’t be pooping in the car at all

Sir, you do not need to moan “oh boy” when you are taking a shit in a public restroom.

 

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