Puns Ville

Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean? At a whale-weigh station! What is a whale’s favourite story? The Humpback of Notre Dame What is an orca’s favourite TV show?  Whale of fortune! What do you call a 100 year old whale?  A hunchback whale. What do whales like to chew? Blubber gum! What kind of whale flies?  A pilot whale! Why are they called sperm whales? Because seamen discovered them. Why was the whale so sad?  Because she was a Blue whale. Have you ever seen a fish cry?  No, but I have seen a whale blubber. What do you call a pod of musical whales?  An Orcastra. How does a group of whales make a decision?  Flipper coin! What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?  Licence to Krill Where does a killer whale go for braces?  The orca-dontist What do whales eat? Fish and ships. What do whales like to chew? Blubber gum! Where are whales weighed? At a whale weigh station How do you circumsize a wha...

A water bed may lead a couple to drift apart. Water slide construction completion requires a dry run. Yogi had a water, whiskey and tea drink everyday. He was a toddy bear. The coach asked Roger if he I could swim under water. He said, “don’t hold your breath.” Ending up in hot water may result from upseting a cannibal. When the police boat fills with water and those on board must be bailed out. Sea they never stop What do you call a duck that refuses to go in the water? A chicken! What keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure! Did you hear the watermelon joke?  It’s pitiful. Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach?  No, it’s just more fun in water. Why is the letter T like an island?  Because its in the middle of water! What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water? Bob Why is it bad to joke about boiling water?  Because it gets all steamy. How do you make holy water?  You boil the hell out of it! How ...

What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?  I’m bacon! How do men exercise at the beach?  By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?  The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. What did the beach say to the wave? Long tide, no sea. Yo momma is so fat when she was lying on the beach Green Peace tried to push her back in the water. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing – it just waved! We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out. This summer, I’m going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say “Get a life” on them. Went to the beach today; I could feel the women just dressing me with their eyes. What is the best day to go ...

Within animal puns , we provide you the funniest bundle of fish puns What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!” Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon! What do you call a fish with a tie? soFISHticated What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark! How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut! Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships. What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales. What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish. Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her? To fish for compliments. What did the blind man say when he passed the fish ma...