Puns Ville

Why did the sun go to school?  To get brighter! I was up all night wondering where the Sun had gone… then it dawned on me. Living on Earth might be expensive but at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year. I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm’s never glum. It’s hard to be downhearted, When the sun shines out of your bum! Why did the blonde think it was Sunday? Because the sun was out. You are so beautiful you give the sun reason to shine. Of course, the sun shines by burning hydrogen into helium in its core. Yo’ Mama is so ugly, when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the clouds. Did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me? ‘Cause if the sun came out, it’s really gonna irritate my sores. I knew I had bought the wrong sun block when the bottle had a picture of a black guy putting two white guys out with a fire extinguisher. What did the sun say to the moon? ...

Hilarious tree puns you can laugh at How does a tree get on the Internet? It logs in. Friend went to a Star Trek fancy dress party dressed as a tree. He was the Captain’s Log. A local bank is opening an ATM in a tree. If its successful, they might expand to other branches. I used to spend lots of time with a friend in his tree house. Then we fell out. A friend is tracing his family tree. He’s not very good at drawing. A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “in a nut shell, it’s an oak tree”. Local police force has recruited a tree. It’s Special Branch. Someone took my mate’s fake Christmas tree. It’s not fir. What do you get hanging from ash trees? Sore arms. What cheese do you use to encourage a bear out of a tree? Camembert. How do trees access the internet? They log on. What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch. Why did the pine tree get in trouble? Because it was being knotty. What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s po...

Funniest egg puns collection on the Internet. Where’s the best place to get information about eggs? The hen-cyclopedia. How many French eggs do you need? One egg is un oeuf. What did the egg say to the clown? You crack me up. Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? Because it wanted to lay it on the line. What’s a hen’s favorite shipping company? Federal Egg-spress. Who tells the best egg jokes? Comedi-hens. What does a meditating egg say? Ohmmmmmmmlet. A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head. The bartender asks, ” Why have you got a fried egg on your head?” The man replies, “Because boiled eggs fall off.” How does a hen leave it’s house? Through the eggs-it. What do you call someone who eats too many eggs? An egg-oholic. Knock, knock Who’s there? Omelette. Omelette who? Omelette smarter than I look! What happens if you mix up a computer manual with a cookbook? You get an egg-shell spreadsheet! What does an egg do when he see...