Romantic Puns

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

I wish I was one of ur tears, so I could be born in your eyes, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.

It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

God gave us two ears, two eyes, two legs and two hands, but he only gave us one heart, and he wanted me to find you

and tell you, you are the second one

This morning I saw a flower and I thought it was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen; until I met you..

Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

there are many fish in the sea but you’re the only one that’s caught my eye

Everything about you is perfect except one thing, you aren’t married to me.

Wife: “In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring.” Husband: “I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.”

A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” His wife says, “Take half and leave your ass!” The man replies, “Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!”

Don’t break anybody’s heart; they only have 1. Break their bones; they have 206.

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?  He wiped his bum.

You know you’re getting old when your wife says, “Honey, lets run upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “I can’t do both.”

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

A man comes home, finds his wife in bed with another man, and asks, “What is this?!?” The wife turns to her lover and says, “See, I told you he was stupid!”

A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.

Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.

My life is so sad and lonley (why) because your not in it

Hey baby do you like a man that can carry big things because I have the biggest sweetheart I’ll put a tear drop in the ocean.

When you find it is when I’ll stop loving you.

I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you

Your heart stops when you sneeze. Kind of like what happens when I think of you.

 

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