Puns for Kids
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Puns for Kids
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
What do you call a marketplace that sells weird stuff? A bizarre bazaar!
I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants to the game? Just in case he got a hole in one.
Q&A Puns for Kids
Q: What does my dog do when he goes to bed?
A: He reads a bite-time story.
Q: What do dogs do when watching a DVD?
A: They press paws.
Q: Why can’t dogs drive?
A: They can’t find a barking space.
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: It was not peeling very well.
Q: Why did the burglar rob a bakery?
A: He needed the dough.
Q: What vitamin helps you to see?
A: Vitamin C.
Q: Why did the ice cream cone take karate lessons?
A: It was tired of getting licked.
Q: How do you make fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match.
Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
Q: How to hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts.
Q: Why can’t you tell a joke while you’re standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth.
A: A gummy bear.
Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.
Q: Why didn’t Cinderella make the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.
Q: Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard.
A: A Barber.
Q: What stays in the corner but goes around the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: Where do burgers like to dance.
A: A meatball.
Q: What day to chickens hate most.
A: Fry-days
Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open Toad.
Q: What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age.
Q: Why don’t ducks ever have spare change?
A: They only carry bills.
Q: Why was the math book sad.
A: It had too many problems.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q: Where do mummies go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.
Q: What do rabbits do when they get married?
A: They go on a bunnymoon.
Q: What do you get when an bad rabbit sits on your hair?
A: A dad dare Day.
Q: What kind of table can you eat?
A: A vege-table,
Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: Why did the girl nibble on her calender?
A: She wanted a sundae.
Q: What do you call two banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers.
Q: What happens when you tell an egg a kids joke like this one?
A: It cracks up.
Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?
A: Her nose!
Q: Did you hear about the robbery last night?
A: Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!
Q: Why do you go to bed every night?
A: Because the bed won’t come to you!
Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
Q: Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
A: Because it’s too cold out-tide!
Q: How do you cure a headache?
A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
A: A minnie van!
Q: Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming?
A: Because they take too long to change!
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: To catch up on his sleep!
Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
A: He wanted to make a clean get away!
One Liners Puns for Kids
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Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right, so I left.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat.
- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Err…so how do you drive this thing?”
- I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn’t find any.
- I’ve been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.
- Being struck by lightning is a shocking experience!
- Without geometry, life is pointless.
- A chicken crossing the road is truly poultry in motion.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from far too much pi.
- I went to a seafood disco last week….and pulled a mussel.
- She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was brilliant!
Enjoyed these puns for kids? Check also:
Cat Puns
Cute Puns
Funny Puns
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