Birthday Puns

Funniest birthday puns ever

birthday puns

Thank you for your birthday wishes on Facebook. Who are you by the way?

You know you are getting old when you start getting birthday cards from your orthopedist.

Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday. Do it tomorrow.

Your upcoming birthday reminds me of the words of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo

What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”

“Were any famous men born on your birthday?” “No, only little babies.”

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!

What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.

What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party!

What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”

What was the average age of a cave man? Stone Age!

Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!

What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!

What party game do rabbits like to play? Musical Hares!

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!

Why did everyone hide from Sue on her birthday? Because they wanted her to be Sue-prised!

What is a meaning of a true friend? One who remembers your birthday but not your age!

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks. I’ll never part with it!

Why are birthday’s good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? “What’s eating you?”

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.

What do you give nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!

Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.

What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.

Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday? It was a tappy one!

How can you tell that you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Did you hear about the flag’s birthday? It was a flappy one!

When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes – but where can you find a bloodshot tie?

My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people’s birthdays. She says she doesn’t think people would like margarine as a present.

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “Just give me something with diamonds.”

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

Enjoyed these birthday puns? Check also:

Cake Puns

Food Puns

The post Birthday Puns appeared first on PunsVille.



from Puns Ville http://ift.tt/2pLJLvE

Commentaires

Enregistrer un commentaire

Posts les plus consultés de ce blog

Piano Puns

Image
Do you look for some musical puns? Here is the best collection of piano puns . Why did the two pianists have a good marriage. Because they were always in a chord. Old pianists never die, they just adagio away. To climb to the top of a tall piano, you must scale it. Piano is not my forte. Don’t date a piano technician, he will just string you along. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor. What do you call a man with no arms or legs, playing the piano? Clever Dick. Pianist: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so. What do you call an ant who cant play the piano? Discordant Where do the pianists go for vacation? Florida Keys What do you call a laughing piano? A Yama-hahahahaha. What has many keys but unlocks no doors? A Piano. What key is “Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight” written in? C sharp or B flat. What do you call a snowman that plays the piano? Melton John Did you see the sign outside the piano studio? “Gone Chopin....
Lire la suite

Cow Puns

Image
From animal puns, we bring for you this funniest bundle of cow puns How does a cow get to the mooooon? It flies through udder space! What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder! What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock. What is a cows favorite colour? Maroooooooon. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow? Peanut butter. What do u call a really strong cow? Beefy. What do you get when you walk under a cow? A pat on the head. How does lady gaga like her steak? Raw raw raw raw raw. Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it didnt want Lady Gaga to make a meat dress out of him. What are a cows favorite subjects in school? Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers! What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder-C...
Lire la suite

Poop Puns

What do you call Clark Kent with diarrhea? Poop-erman. Don’t call me a party animal then get upset that I pooped on your carpet. Ghost Poop: You feel the poop come out, but there is no poop in the toilet. Do you want to hear a poop joke? Never mind it’s too corny. Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early. Clean Poop: You poop, it’s in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. I was going to tell you a poop joke but it’s really crappy. Second Wave Poop: You’re done pooping and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you’re not done. Brain Haemorrhage Poop: (Also known as “Pop a vein in your forehead” poop) The kind where you Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It never came out. strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn’t budget. Gassy Poop: Everyone within earshot is giggling. Have you seen ...
Lire la suite