Horrible Puns

Very bad and horrible puns provided by Puns Ville.

Horrible Puns

What’s the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? They both suck for four quarters.

What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off

Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? The grass tickles their balls

What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? A cheater, cheater, woman beater.

What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Bubble Gum.

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t? Her navel.

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Liquor in the front and poker in the back!

How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw.

Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!

What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.

What is a crack head’s favorite song? I wanna rock!

How do you get retards out of a tree? Wave to them!

What do you call a gangbanger behind bars? Anything you want.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didn’t have any arms.

What’s sicker than a pile of dead babies? The one alive in the middle chewing its way out.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck on his cock!

Why doesn’t a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head!

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He needed to get to the bottom!

What do you call an afghan virgin? Mever bin laid on

Why is santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice

Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? He doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s been fucking the chickens!

What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather….kinky is using the whole chicken.

Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? Yeah I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off.

What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common? They both only change their pads after every third period!

What is the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.

Did you hear about the guy who ran infront of the bus? He got tired

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don’t have balls to scratch.

What do bread and autistic kids have in common? They both have special needs

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first Brownie. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Halfway

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What do you call a bunny with a bent d!ck? FUCKS FUNNY

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

What’s 6 inches long and starts with a p? ……….. a shit (think about it)

Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

They were horrible puns, aren’t they? Check more horrible ones on bad puns

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