Dog Puns

Here is the best and funniest bundle of dog puns:

Dog Puns

1- What’s a dog’s perfect job? Bark-eology.

 

2-  Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the “barking” lot!

 

3-  What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

 

4-  What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!

 

5-  What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? He stole the show!

 

6-  What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver!

 

7-  What does my dog and my phone have in common? They both have collar I.D.

 

8-  What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? Dingo Starr!

 

9-  What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

10- What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee? a Greyhound Buzz.

 

11-  Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair? Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.

 

12-  What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware wolf.

 

13-  Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart? He was CON-fused!

 

14-  What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.

 

15-  What did the skeleton say to the puppy? bonappetite

 

16-  What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
17- Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? It was a dog

and pony show.

 

18-  What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? The collie wobbles!

 

19-  What do you call a black Eskimo dog? A dusky husky!

20- She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.

 

21-  Never trust a dog to watch your food.

 

22-  What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
23- My dog and I are working in a new product: it’s a combination toilet bowl cleaner and dog breath freshener.

 

24-  A Chihuahua looks like a dog that is still far away!

 

25-  I have a dog that’s half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a guard dog, but a vicious gossip.
26- Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.
27- My dog is half Labrador, half pit bull. She bites off my leg and then brings it back to me.

 

28-  My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.

 

29-  This farmer is lucky enough to own a talking sheepdog.

 

30-  After the dog gets all the sheep in the pen, he says to the farmer: “Right, that’s all forty sheep accounted for.”The farmer says, “But I’ve only got 37 sheep.” The sheepdog says, “I know. I rounded them up.”

 

31-  What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver.

 

32-  What type of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.

 

33-  How does a dog stop a TV show? He presses paws.

 

34-  Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.

 

35-  What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? The collie wobbles.

 

36-  Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema? Anywhere it wants to.

 

37-  What type of dog doesn’t bark? A hush puppy.

 

38-  What type of dog likes having a bath? A shampoodle.

 

39-  What’s a dog’s favorite type of pizza? Pup-peroni.

 

40-  What type of dog wears glasses? A cock-eyed spaniel.

 

41-  What do you call a dog with a Rolex? A watch dog.

 

42-  What did the dog say to the fleas? Stop bugging me.

 

43-  Did you hear about the dog who gave birth on the sidewalk? She was ticketed for littering.
44- What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and one tags a whale.

 

45-  This dog walks into a telegraph office and picks up a blank form.

 

46-  The dog shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief and says “But that would make no sense at all.”

 

47- How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied!

 

48-  Why did the dog cross the road twice? He was trying to fetch a boomerang.

 

49-  I walked into a shop yesterday and the girl behind the counter said, “Sorry, no dogs.” I said, “That’s okay, I brought my own. It’s actually cigarettes I want.”

 

50-  Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet.

 

51-  A dog walks into a hardware store and asks for a job.

52- The guy in the store says, “Sorry, we don’t hire dogs. Why don’t you go join the circus?”

 

53-  The dog says, “What would the circus want with a plumber?”

 

54-  What do you call a frozen small dog? A pupsicle.

 

55-  I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

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